it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
