Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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