we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
