I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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