I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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