HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
