okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
