After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
