You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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