Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
