Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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