That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
