okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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