I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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