Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
