Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
