she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
