why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
