i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
