Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
