We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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