No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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