Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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