Don't you send me to vm
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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