just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It was confusing and full of hummus
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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