You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
