and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
