can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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