I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
