she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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