In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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