bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
