does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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