I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
