i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
