Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
