Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
