he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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