My underwear smells like fireworks.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
