I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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