office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
