i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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