dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
