Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
