as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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