I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
