my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
