How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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