I CAN MOONWALK!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
