i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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