...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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