No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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