sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
